i took out about 18k of loans for an illustration degree at a time where i thought i could pay that off in five or ten years-- that i could make money as an artist, pay my rent, pay my bills, pay a couple hundred a month and whittle it down. if i got a job illustrating for a magazine or publisher, just a few of those jobs might clear by debt. lots of places had in-house illustrators then: lots of magazines, interior designers, videogame startups, magazines, even websites. it was possible. i was promised if i worked hard to add college skills to my native talent, it was guaranteed.
i never made it. the economy crashed halfway through my degree. it never recovered. studios fired artists by the thousands and hired them on as freelancers. the housing market crashed and bounced and mutated. rent was insane. the minim wage didn't twitch. but the interest on those unpayable loans went up, and up, and up.
ive paid a couple thousand back, bit by bit. but now i owe 42,000 dollars. there's no reason for it. my lenders just made those numbers up and no one stopped them. i borrowed 18 and payed back maybe 5. no one is losing 42,000 dollars if biden clears that debt tomorrow. my debt's already been sold a few times anyway. that means even the original lender shrugged off the loss.
so yeah, i want the government to bail me out. they bailed out all the banks that fucked the economy before i ever grew up. they bailed out all the corporations who starved their workers of fair pay and steady careers for decade after hungry decade. they sure as fuck bailed out every landlord who gouged 90% of my paycheck out plus my security deposit plus pet rent for the privilege of a shitty little box with plastic carpets and leaking roofs.
all these great big men who have unrepentantly fucked up the economy bigtime has gotten to laugh it off and then chug down a firehose of taxpayer funded absolution. i want the 12,000 that my original lender already traded away, that i paid for a broken dream, to be so easily dismissed. i deserve that. we all do.
